Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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