I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
God, I missed his penis.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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