whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
and you fell through a lawn chair
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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