is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
bring money and cleavage
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
