she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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