if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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