By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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