I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
