i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
