Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
