jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
