I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
