I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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