I can tuck mytits in my pants
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Randomize
