He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
