clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.