maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
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just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
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You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.