I think i sorta joined a cult last night
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake