it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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