I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i was born a porn star she said
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
