We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Nobody cheats on THIS.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
