absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
