I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
