Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
pray to the hookup gods
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
