I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
