im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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