so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
North Korea, Best Korea!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Randomize
