It's like a parade of train wrecks.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
