If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.