I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.