the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just want to make out with him forever