Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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