The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
