This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
