just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
