But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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