I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
