he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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