just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
