omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
