omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
