ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
