this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize