she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
