When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
