when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize