I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
