Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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