Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
