My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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