you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
