we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
