i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
