Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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