I can tuck mytits in my pants
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize