O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
