What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
