This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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