so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
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Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
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Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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